When I first found out I was pregnant, I didn’t believe in abortion. I said to myself I was going to do this alone. I was going to keep the baby. I went and got all the medical checks done and found out I was having a boy.
His name was Noah.
I was just excited to be going through the journey of being a pregnant woman. I planned a baby shower and told all my friends and family, like any normal person would.
It didn’t hit him until I was showing and I had ultrasound photos. He wouldn’t accept the fact that I was going to have a child. So basically, he didn’t want to have anything to do with the baby and I accepted that, I was going to do it all on my own.
He started to panic. He got other people involved, not just his parents, but people from his club to contact me and tell me that I wasn’t capable of raising his child. I was constantly being blocked by him and told by other people to get rid of my child.
He got Lou to constantly call me and offer me money. It wasn’t in a nice way, like “hey we want to help you, what can we do for you?” It’s more like “Get rid of this baby now! Sign a confidentiality agreement and never talk about it again!”
Throwing me under the bus and being all hush-hush about it. Every time I spoke to Lou it aws just about me not being able to raise the baby on my own. He would constantly tell me that I would be an embarrassment, that the father was an NRL star and that I’d have a public shaming.
He said that it’s not a baby until it’s born, that abortion’s normal and people get it done all the time. It was a mistake and I didn’t have to go through with it.
When they offered me a substantial amount of money I thought I could start over and never let this happen again.
When I went for the procedure I thought I’d wake up and all my problems would go away. If anything I woke up and felt like I’d done something really wrong and then face another problem of telling people that I didn’t keep the baby.
After the rumours went viral about paying somebody off, I think it was time for me to come out. I remained anonymous and shared my story, just so that if there are other women out there going through this, they can’t hide in the dark. If they’re constantly being bullied or told they can’t have their child, they should speak up about it and not do what I did. Instead of opening my mouth, I just copped it every day.
As soon as I woke up from the procedure, he didn’t call to see if I’m ok but just to let me know the money was in my lawyer’s account. I told my lawyer to donate it to charity.
I knew that what I’d done was wrong. It’s something that I’m going to have to live with for the rest of my life.