So you’re pregnant. It wasn’t planned. You may even be pregnant through traumatic circumstances. A million thoughts are bouncing around in your head. You can’t think straight, let alone get used to the idea that you’re going to be a mum. For the first time, or the second, third or tenth time. You’re feeling too young, too old, too busy, too stressed, too strapped for cash, too mentally delicate, too tired. And just a little bit dizzy with fear.
If there’s one thing you do now, please, promise us you won’t go straight to an abortion clinic for advice.
Think about it. Abortion clinics continue to operate because women continue to terminate pregnancies. These women pay money for the procedure, which goes to employing staff at the clinic, purchasing equipment, paying rent and other overheads, maybe even the odd splash for Christmas dinner. The more women who choose abortion for their unborn child, the more money that flows into the clinic.
Abortion clinics are businesses.
So when you walk through the doors and share your sensitive story, of the stress and pressure and hardship, the advice offered will be far from subjective.
It’s like asking a real estate agent whether you should sell your house or not.
Like asking a car dealer if you should buy the sparkly new SUV on their shop floor, or make do with the beat-up wagon parked on the street.
Like asking the telemarketer trying to sell you life insurance if it’s really worth the outlay.
All have a vested interest. All have sales targets and bosses to please. All are unreliable if you want advice that is transparent and with access to information on all the other options available.
So who do you turn to for advice?
I wish I could say, your GP. Anecdotally, however, we hear of many GPs who fail to offer the full spectrum of choice. If you have a great GP, someone you’ve known for years and whose advice has been tested by time and various challenges, then that’s wonderful. Be sure to ask them about support during pregnancy, adoption, the risks of abortion and the impact of abortion on mental health.
Speak to trusted friends and family members. They know you best and will be able to give you a birds-eye-view of the situation you’re in now. During a stressful time, it’s easy to forget that you’ve emerged from stressful times in the past. It’s easy to forget that those seasons can be the most formative, life-changing times and enable us to reach fuller potential and realise our strengths. Good friends are great at turning your “I can’t!” into “I could” and “I can”. Truly great friends will stand beside you and say, “We will!”
Speak with your partner. This may not always be healthy or appropriate, but if you can, have a chat. He is part of the equation and you just might be surprised at his response and the support he offers. Maybe it will change the way you feel too. But if his words become negative, trying to convince you towards abortion when something inside you is ill at ease, distance yourself. Coerced abortion is sadly very common and leaves women broken and in need of careful counselling.
Speak with a pregnancy support group. There is likely to be one near you and, if not, there are phone services so that you can anonymously discuss your situation with someone who cares. These people have walked beside many women just like you, facing unplanned or unwanted pregnancies in the most unpleasant circumstances. They understand, and they are great listeners. Scroll down to find a list of pregnancy support groups and hotlines.
Just, whatever you do, don’t go to an abortion clinic to ask for pregnancy advice.
Places to turn to for real help
Pregnancy Help Australia 24/7 phone counselling
1300 792 798 (QLD, NSW, VIC, ACT)
1300 655 156 (SA, WA, NT, TAS)
Diamond Women’s Support (Sydney Metro Area, North-Western Sydney, Central Coast, Wollongong, Penrith/Greater West and South Western Sydney)
Zoe’s Place (Hunter Valley)
Lily’s Place (Coffs Harbour)
The Babe’s Project
Pregnancy Help SA
Pregnancy Help Australia