I am a survivor of abortion.
The only reason I was born was due to my mother’s bravery to ignore the pressure of a violent partner (my father). She left him, with two children already, at 20 years old to run to safety and evade his threats if she didn’t have the abortion.
I say I’m a survivor because my mum went into the clinic, was ready to have the procedure and ran out before it could happen.
Thank you! I don’t care how you view the fetus, whether you think its a life, or not a life, all I know is that while others debate this I am just happy I was born!
I got to be an annoying little sister, and later on a big sister (when my mother had another unplanned pregnancy). I hear people say, “Why would you want children to be born that are not cared for or who live hard lives?” That was me.
My mum, traumatised by family violence, impacted by her father’s alcoholism, had it tough. No money, four kids and bad choices in partners because she didn’t know any better. I saw things kids shouldn’t see. Again, I survived.
Would I still wish to be born? Yes, because those experiences make me who I am and have led me to help other kids in crisis.
At age 23 after breaking up with my partner I found out I was pregnant. It was a big surprise. I had no money, no car, no stable accommodation. I felt scared and alone. I had always wanted children but hadn’t planned it to be like this.
The pressure to abort was strong. When I wanted to talk to someone about how hard it was I got answers like, “Well you CHOSE this!” When I fronted up at the doctor for the test, he wanted to know what I wanted to do about it, then frowned at me when I indicated there was “nothing to do”.
It was hard. Being a sole parent, experiencing PTSD and ongoing depression. But for me there was no choice. I had been given life. This life deserved to live and was I going to let my circumstances dictate to me? No!
Now with a teenager who gives me joy and grief in equal measure I wouldn’t change a thing. I have friends who made a different choice and went through the pain of regret. Yes, there were hard times but the good times have outweighed them all.
I have a daughter.
When I see her with my mum I realise that, when my mum left that clinic she got more then just me. She has a special relationship with my daughter as she was there at her birth. I hope one day to be at my daughter’s side when she has her first child. I hope my mum is able to be there too.
As I see my daughter build friendships, interact with family and overcome new challenges (travel, learning and thinking about her future career) I realise that it would not only be me that is impacted if I had given in to the pressure. It would be all the people she would ever meet, the things she would do and the person she would become… one who I think is pretty amazing!
For me abortion is more then a social issue. It is about life. It is about family. It is about getting back far more then you could ever give up.